I Hate My Job

14
01
2012

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Road Trip!

25
11
2011

Little bit late on updating the blog, but Karie and I recently drove from Maryland to Oklahoma in three days. That was quite a fun drive, if not exhausting to be in the car for that long. To read more, if you care so much, head on over to Karie's blog and read on. :)

  1. Day One
  2. Day Two
  3. Day Three
  4. Unpacking

The Gillette 3000

26
10
2011

I know the idea has been done many times since, but this sketch was done in the very early nineties and I've always found their description of what each blade does quite amusing.

Battersea Power Station Goes To The Pigs

27
09
2011

Once more, Battersea Power Station in London has had the iconic Pink Floyd pig flown above it. How cool!

NES PC Mod

25
09
2011

Just found a video on Reddit of a fantastic looking PC build, where the guy, Buddman, built a PC into an old NES case. While that isn't special on its own, because lets face it, there's a dozen or more NES case PCs out there, this one is pretty damned cool because it's *just* made for NES games. It loads up to a fantastic looking frontend, and is completely controllable by the original NES controller. Take a gander at it below.

Open Source Shaving

25
08
2011

As a guy who shaves using a more traditional razor, a Gillette Super Speed from the 50s, I am always looking around for a good shaving soap. I've tried all of the usual ones, like Mitchell's Wool Fat, Proraso, Soapier, etc. While browsing Reddit tonight, though, I came across the Open Shave License Shaving Soap. May have to try my hand at this next time I am out of shaving soap.

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The Making of Idiots

23
08
2011

I got to thinking today about how moron proof cars have gotten lately. Sayings like: "Objects are closer than they appear," "Fasten your seatbelt," Airbags can kill," "Avoid abrupt maneuvers," "This vehicle may roll over," "Do not overfill," "Depress brake before shifting," and "Always sit upright." These sayings can all be found in a vehicle, in plain sight. Why, you ask? Because America has become a Teflon coated, excuse of a nation. In a country where of you spill hot coffee on your tinder bits while driving, means that McDonalds owes you millions of dollars for actually giving you good service, is bullshit. Stupidity in America is always someone else's fault. Have you crashed your car? Well hell! That sombitch suddenly accelerated, internally combusted and leaped right into that dangerously placed shoe store right on its own, didn't it? Thanks to America's knowledge of how to slap a lawsuit on a person, the modern automobile has more warning lights, caution stickers, and alert buzzers than the International Space Station.